Are you getting over a break up right now? Do you hurt so bad that you feel like your heart is going to explode? Do you want to see the other person one minute and want to kill them the next? That is all par for the course when you are getting over a break up.

Just as there are stages of grief when mourning someone who has died, there are also steps that must be taken when getting over a break up.

It may even be easier to get over the death of a spouse than to recover from divorce. There is a lot of support from society when someone dies, but you are supposed to go about getting over a break up on your own.

Step 1 - Feel your feelings.

The first thing you should do is sit down and write a long letter to your ex. Pour out your heart. Share the experiences you had together. Tell him or her why you loved them. Put on paper how you feel about the break up. Call them names. It’s okay to emote in this letter because no one is ever going to see it. When you're finished light a candle and burn the letter over the candle’s flame. There are not many rituals that go along with breaking up, but this one can help you on the road to emotional recovery.

Step 2 - Close out the life you shared.

You need to arrange to exchange stuff. If you have been in a relationship of any length, you each have probably left some stuff at the other's place, and you both want it back. Work out a time for a mutual exchange.

If there are things of your ex’s that aren’t going to be exchanged, either box them up or throw them away. Don’t leave your ex’s toothbrush lying around the bathroom because it will only remind you of them as you are trying to go about getting over a break up.

It is also a good idea to box up any gifts your ex gave you for a time. Wearing a watch that your ex gave you will make you think of them every time you check the time -- not a good idea when getting over a break up.

There are sometimes financial matters that need to be straightened out when getting over a break up. If you owe your ex money, try either to pay it off from your own funds or get another loan to pay it off. If you have a checking account together, work out how you are going to divvy it up and then go to the bank to close it.

Step 3 - Start building separate lives.

After you have done what is necessary, next agree to have no contact for thirty days. This will allow you to start building separate lives. You shouldn’t call, text, email, or meet the other person during this time. You may even want to agree that some places such as a specific bar or even a given church “belong” to one party or the other during this month long period.

After you have had time to begin building a separate life, you will be able to interact more normally once again.

This is a difficult time, so give yourself the space you need in order to go about getting over a break up.